Hendersonhome Chronicles

As one might expect, my prayer life has been improving lately. The past couple of days, I’ve been praying through passages in Isaiah, verse by verse. God is talking to Israel while they are captive, encouraging them to hope when all seems lost.

But now listen, O Jacob, my servant,
Israel, whom I have chosen.

This is what the Lord says –

he who made you,

who formed you in the womb
and who will help you:

Do not be afraid, O Jacob, my servant,

Jeshurun, whom I have chosen.

– Isaiah 44:1-2

I don’t know why, but God has chosen us to go through this season. He is a God of reason, a God of purpose and intricacy. He’s like the best jazz musician you can imagine (one teacher mentioned Thelonious Monk), taking what seems like chaos, and weaving it into a harmonious pattern that makes sense only in hindsight.

I also found myself this morning asking God to provide grace and mercy for today, and hope for tomorrow. The Lord’s mercies are new every morning. If I stop and look at matters through an eternal perspective, even on what could be one of the worst days of our lives, the Lord’s mercies and grace were present. We live in a country where an MRI was a short drive away. We have health insurance. We have doctors who caught this when they did, and were able to arrange for the test and appoints on very quick order. One of my best friends, who lives in North Carolina, happened to be in Minneapolis on a business trip. The outpouring of love and support from friends was immediate. I’m sure that there are more, some we won’t know until later.

Much of the pain and terror I’ve been feeling has been from mourning the future, my future. God is leading me to let go of my vision of the future, and put my hope in His future for our family. In my humanness, I want to know God’s plan for my family, but that’s not trusting. As long as I cling to my plan, I lock God out of working in my heart to shape me into what He wants me to be to lead my family and for His purposes. When I start seeing his daily grace and mercy with gratitude, and leaving the outcome to God, this season becomes easier to bear.