Last night, we watched videos and looked at pictures of our Make-a-Wish trip to Florida. The little boy we saw there is almost nothing like the one sleeping in the next room. The Ian we took to Florida was so much closer to the one I remember from before last May. In the coming months, I will be pouring through stacks of video tapes, trying to get them copied to our hard drives. I’m hoping that as I go back through the years, I will remember more clearly the little boy that he was.
I want to remember the little boy who wanted me to time him running around our house, and tried to do it faster each lap. I want to forget the little boy who cannot stand anymore.
I want to remember the little boy who enjoyed singing, not the one who struggles to speak a couple of words.
I want to remember the little boy who had a permanent sparkle in his eyes, not the one who stuggles to see my face.
I want to remember the little boy who couldn’t wait to be done with supper so that we could play, and forget the one who only feels hunger, and is never satisfied.
I want to remember that Ian, so that when I see him again, I’ll recognize him.
#1 by One Dumb Sheep on February 18th, 2009
Tom,
I met you at the Advance in the fall, we played Ping-Pong together (neither one of us very well but we tried right). Every morning (and a few times through out the day) I open your blog and your CaringBridge site so I can pray more effectively for you, deb and Ian. Often I find myself looking at my young son and praying for your son. I just wanted to let you know that you have my prayers as a brother. And though I have never met Ian he is a hero to me. A note of encouragement, if virtual strangers in Iowa (and they don’t come much stranger than Iowans) follow your story this closely how much more your Father in Heaven, He still sees every tear brother. Thank you for being an example of a Godly man and a Godly father, you make me want to be a better dad. Strength and Honor brother.
PJ Holmertz
#2 by Erika Hauschildt on February 18th, 2009
Tom,
We feel and have said everything you said tonight. It is pure torture what these little kids go through from this tumor. It did not take us long to remember our Ella. Videos helped so much, especially to hear her voice as it was and to see her run and play and laugh. You will remember and they will be the best memories. Your story about timing Ian as he ran around your house brought back my memory – Ella used to love to do that!!! I am keeping you, Deb, Ian and your families in my prayers. I am here if either of you ever want to talk, vent or cry. I know now that time is precious.
With love and hope,
Erika
m/o Ella Hope, forever 7
ejhauschildt@charter.net
#3 by Anonymous on February 19th, 2009
Tom, We have never met, but through Denni (I am her mother-in-law) I have followed and prayed for your little Ian along with one of my co-workers who kept up with your blog. I am so sorry for your loss, but I know my son, Jason, is watching out for him and that Jesus is ultimately watching out for both of them one day we both will see our sons! God bless your family, Robin
#4 by MidWest Side Story on February 19th, 2009
Dear Ones,
I posted a song on the caring bridge yesterday; I wasn’t sure why God compelled me to put it there then, I know now.
I love you and am still praying for you.
-N.B.
I call, You hear me
I’ve lost it all
And it’s more than I can bear
I feel so empty
You’re strong
I’m weary
I’m holdin’ on
But I feel like givin’ in
But still You’re with me
And even though I’m walkin’ through
The valley of the shadow
I will hold tight to the hand of Him
Whose love will comfort me
And when all hope is gone
And I’ve been wounded in the battle
He is all the strength that I will
Ever need
And He will carry me
I know I’m broken
But You alone
Can mend this heart of mine
You’re always with me
And even though I feel so lonely
Like I’ve never been before
You never said it would be easy
But You said you’d see me through
The storm
He Will Carry Me -Mark Schultz
#5 by Hay Family on February 19th, 2009
Tom and Deb,
We are praying for you and mourning that Ian is no longer with us today but are truly glad for what he is experiencing with God right now. He is healed! We love you and continue to be here for you in spirit, prayer and in whatever deed is necessary to help.
My heart aches tonight,
Dan (& family)
#6 by Tami Marland on February 19th, 2009
Hi Tom ~
We’re praying for you and your family. I know that God will bring the memories of Ian easily back to your memory. May you be blessed with wonderful memories of your beautiful son.
You did a wonderful job preparing Ian.
#7 by Anonymous on February 20th, 2009
Tom & family,
I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine the pain, but I do know that God will hold you forever. Ian is with Him right now, without pain. You will see him again! I will be praying for you and your family.
Strength & honor.
#8 by Tonya on March 25th, 2009
Tom you and Deb both will recoginze Ian for sure. All of you will be together for eternity forever and ever. Always praying. God bless and Big Hugzz:) Tonya.