We seem to have a bear infestation. These are the facts, with current theories:
- During the afternoon, of April 21, Ian discovered what he believes to be animal tracks in his playset. To his best measurement, it’s almost as big as his head.
- There were only two pawprints. Obviously, the animal is merely scouting new territory, possibly looking for a new food source. Our worst fears are that it feeds on little boys.
- The current assumption is that the animal is a bear. Possibly a tiger, but probably a bear.
- While investigating the playset on the evening of April 22, the pawprints were missing. It’s apparent that we’re dealing with one very cunning beast. Any animal that erases its tracks is not to be taken lightly. It is, if you will, smarter than the average bear.
Artist’s rendering of the bear tracks, from eye-witness account. Shown are two pawprints, side by side.
Ian promptly mobilized, using his walkie-talkies to communicate with the home base. He has declared that he is ready to give up his life to defend home and family. He has gone as far as to leave a goodbye note with his mother and father, just in case.
Further reconnaissance has failed to locate any sign of Ursus arctos horribilis. Our new plan is to lay a trap for the animal, baited with honey and/or bugs. In the meantime, Ian is practicing his bear-fighting skills. Armed with a sword, shield and walkie-talkie, he has declared that we are unstoppable. Ian’s classmates at school have determined that they are ready and willing to assist in the hunt.
A sword, a walkie-talkie, and a brave heart. All any bear hunter needs.
More details later…
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