Deb’s Journey…

May 10, 2010

I survived another Mother’s Day!

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 2:51 pm

Well, I survived another Mother’s Day…

When Tom turned 30 he decided to go skydiving.  He took an all day class then jumped out of an airplane at 13,000 feet…now he has “bragging rights”.  Oddly I feel a little like that somedays on this grief journey -  yet it isn’t any fun and it’s more like jumping without a parachute…

It’s kind of like when little kids have a band-aid and want to tell you about their boo-boos.  Somehow the more people who kiss their boo-boo the better they feel.  It’s  a little sick and self-serving…yet somehow it’s also somehow healing to share  “this happened to me and it really hurts and even though I lived through it, I still have scars - even if you can’t see them.”

We picked out Ian’s memorial on Friday - not exactly most moms choice for how to start their “Mother’s Day weekend”.    I’ve been dreading this final task, yet it had to be done…it’s just feels so wrong on so many levels.   I’m at peace with our choice even though it was a painful task no parent should have to endure.  I survived - that should count for something!  Somehow what doesn’t kill me is supposed to make me stronger right?  Maybe someday…other days I just want to curl up and nurse my wounds…

One day at a time…one knee in front of the other…slowly but slowly by the grace of God…pressing on…

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