Deb’s Journey…

June 24, 2009

Ian’s 8th Birthday Celebration

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 10:57 am

We’re thinking ahead to Ian’s birthday (7/19) and have decided to have a “PARTY” and take a group to Feed My Starving Children.

Ian went with us twice to work at Feed My Starving Children. The most recent time was during his radiation treatments last summer…he begged to go even though he was so tired…yet courageous and kind. He said, “ Jesus likes what we’re doing here!”

Oh how much you taught us, Buddy Bear!

According to FMSC, more than 18,000 children starve to death every day.  It’s appalling when something can be done to help save those children!

The facility isn’t open on Sundays, so we will go:

Saturday, July 18th from 7:00 - 9:00 pm.

If you are interested in joining us at Feed My Starving Children in Eagan, MN, please post and let us know.  Include your e-mail address and we’ll keep you informed with further details as they unfold.

If you aren’t able to join us, but would like to contribute to this worthy cause, here is more information:

Our goal is to raise enough money to feed 25 children for a year (cost: $1550.00). Note:  $62.00 feeds 1 child for 1 year.

To contribute to that goal, please send checks to:

IAN HENDERSON MEMORIAL FUND:
Klein Bank
3000 Cty. Rd. #42 West—Suite#100
Burnsville, MN 55337

Mark your check – “FMSC” or “Happy Birthday Ian” and we’ll send all those contributions to Feed My Starving Children.

If you would like to receive a tax deduction and get on their mailing list, send your check to:
Feed My Starving Children
6750 West Broadway
Brooklyn Park, MN 55428

We would be honored if you mark your check “In memory of Ian Henderson”.

With heartfelt thanks –

Deb & Tom

June 22, 2009

Attitude adjustments…

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 9:03 am

Longing…Desire…Yearning…they exist within me but I’m not sure that’s a good thing…not really sure I should “examine them further and flesh them out”

“The Lord is my shepherd…I shall not be in want” - (is that a choice? a declaration? both?)

“My God shall supply all my needs according to His riches in glory”

“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.”

I think the real problem comes for me when I decide He should supply my wants instead of my needs…when I wear a sense of entitlement and have my own agenda then I’m discontent…Ugly stuff begins in me like complaining and whining … “I didn’t get what I WANT God –in my timing and in my way! - wah, wah, wah…”

What childish selfishness in my heart. What lack of trust in God’s good, wise, character. What lack of faith! God forgive me…

I’m wrestling through this…what then should I do with…

“Delight yourself therefore in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart”?

Does He put the desires there in the first place and then fulfill them? What about the ones I still have that aren’t yet fulfilled?

Somehow as always it comes back around to my need to just surrender…and to fully entrust myself to Him…stop asking all my childish questions and just rest in Him

Bowing before the Lord… yielding my will…opening my clenched fists, holding my treasures loosely, offering all I have to Him and being willing to lay my will and my “wants” at His feet…

Accepting with thanksgiving what He gives as what is best and meeting all my “needs”…

The choice and act of “thanksgiving” is something I am wrestling deeply with in the midst of my grief. Sometimes it’s frankly a sacrifice to give thanks!

“Let them sacrifice thank offerings and tell of His works with songs of joy” (Psalm 107:22)

“When is it a sacrifice to offer thanks? When I don’t feel like it. This marks the difference between thanksgiving and gratitude. Gratitude is an attitude of the heart, whereas thanksgiving is an act. If the act of giving thanks is not performed, gratitude will not develop. ..Joy is like a stranger standing on your doorstep, and gratitude is the host who opens the door…without gratitude, joy stands forever just outside the heart…You won’t be happy until you forget your problems long enough to look up to heaven and be stunned into heartfelt thanks…” – Mike Mason in Champagne for the Soul: Celebrating God’s Gift of Joy

I have a long road ahead that begins with an intentional choice to “take the next step” in my journey…

June 21, 2009

Father’s Day…for Tom

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 2:28 pm

Last night we went to our nephew’s wedding reception and you know how they clink the glasses for the newlyweds to kiss…well they decided they would draw names so other couples had to kiss also - we won.

It’s an odd sensation… standing before a room full of people boldly kissing one another.  Odd, but very dear!  I so love Tom and marvel at the man he is…loving husband, best friend and wonderful father!

He insisted on going to church this morning (something I couldn’t bring myself to do on Mother’s day)  As with so many other of his wonderful traits, Ian definitely got his “courage” from his dad.

If you haven’t visited Tom’s blog recently…I encourage you to visit and post a comment to encourage him today. www.hendersonhome.net/Tom

June 13, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 8:17 pm

It feels as though my heart has been used for target practice by my enemy and frankly his aim is pretty good. It greatly disturbs me to take a good hard look seeing all the “arrows” and unhealed battle wounds from this last year.

I’ve wrestled  with much anger lately.

Chip Ingram has been doing a series on his new book called “Overcoming Emotions that Destroy” and he’s been very practical about how to recognize anger patterns and how to try to understand and shape our reactions.

I’ve tried to use his questions and tried to put into action some of his suggestions…they are helping, but mostly I just feel really defeated right now…

Part of me feels like I’m tired of sitting on the sidelines and if I don’t get back into play soon I’ll go crazy…and part of me feels like I don’t have the strength to walk across the room let alone return to “the game.” Weeping seems a way of life some days. Exhaustion overtakes me quickly.

I try to do life in my own strength and that never works.  I hear my Lord say “Apart from Me, You can do nothing”…What a stubborn soul I am…sometimes God  “makes me lie down” because I need to just rest in green pastures and let Him restore my wounded and weary soul. 

I do find solace in times of worship and am very grateful for our worship team at church. I’m looking forward to being there tomorrow…our pastor is in a series called “Journey into Joy” …

Sometimes it feels like “Joy” is  a very long way off, but what a desirable destination – not sure I could find it alone but I’m deeply grateful for a good leader and am  joining the convoy!

June 12, 2009

Welcome!

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 7:35 am

For those of you who have been following our story on Caring Bridge (Ian’s CaringBridge site ) you know that our only child, our seven year old son, Ian went home to the Lord 16 weeks ago following a brave battle with brain cancer.

Since Ian passed on, I’ve struggled to write on the bridge- struggled to write under Ian’s name what was happening in our lives without him.  The bridge is precious and almost sacred to me now. It represents a year in our lives that was so filled with God’s manifest presence and with Ian’s “courage and kindness” in the midst of the greatest battle of our lives. I feel that we must guard it…dedicating it for Ian’s memory.

I  have enjoyed writing and somehow need an ongoing outlet for “processing” and “sharing life” with family and friends who might care. Tom is so great to make a way for me to do that…and so begins a new chapter.

Thanks for visiting…more will follow in the days ahead.

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