Gratitude (Graces and Mercies, Temporal Echoes of the Eternal)

Act I:

(Imagine, if you will, a conversation between myself and God...)

Me: "Lord, please heal my son, as soon as possible."

God: I will provide caring doctors through whom I will work, and trust in Me.

Me: "Lord, please heal my son, as soon as possible."

God: I will provide nurses who are kind, gentle, caring and encouraging.

Me: "Lord, I ask you to heal Ian"

God: I will surround you with family and friends who will demonstrate My love for you in ways that you would never have imagined.

Me: "Lord, I ask that you remove Ian's tumor, quickly"

God: I will provide for you financially, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I will surround you when you call to Me, and comfort you.

Me: "God, please restore my son's health."

God: I will be glorified through this situation, and use you in ways that you could not have imagined.

Me: "Dear Lord, please make my son be healthy, and have a long life."

God: I will light each of your steps through My word and through My spirit.

Me: "Jehovah, please do not take my son."

God: I will astound the medical professionals by keeping him healthy while they use the gifts I have given them, to treat the tumor the best way they know how. Through Ian, they will know how to better treat other sick children.

Me: "I'm not sure that you are listening to me, God..."

(Fade to black)

* * *

Does anyone else see a pattern there? This is pretty much how my prayer life has been over the past eight weeks. I have been so focused on my goal, on my end result, that I tend to lose sight over what God is doing now. I've been so busy applying Luke 18:1-5 (the parable of the persistent widow), that I've ignored Isaiah 66:15, Psalm 119:73-80, and hosts of other promises God has made to me.

If my desire had been granted, and Ian had been healed immediately upon the diagnosis (or never had gotten his DIPG), we would not have had the experience of seeing the church rise up and rally around a little boy. We would not have heard from friends and relatives all over the country. We would not have gotten to meet the Krupskis, a lovely family who moved here from Vermont. Ian would not have gotten to spend weeks enjoying time with his grandmother. There have been hundreds of blessings, some that we see and some that have remained hidden. Deb and I would not have gotten clued into how bad Ian's ankles were getting, and he would have experienced more pain in his legs and feet.

Instead of focusing on what God has not done, I need to trust His will and focus on what He has given us.

We give thanks to you, O God,
we give thanks, for your Name is near;
men tell of your wonderful deeds.

- Psalm 75:1


* * *

Act II:

(Imagine, if you will, a different interaction)

Satan: God is not going to heal your son.

Me (Ignoring Satan): "Thank you, God for providing caring doctors who trust in You, and through whom You are working."

Satan: God is not going to heal your son.

Me: "Lord, thank you for providing nurses who are kind, gentle, caring and encouraging.

Satan: You will be isolated and alone.

Me: "Thank you, Lord, for surrounding us with family and friends who are demonstrating Your love for us in ways that we would never have imagined."

Satan: God is going to work slowly, if at all. This will last years, and will ruin you in every way.

Me: "Thank you, Lord, for providing for us financially, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I know from Your word that you will surround me when I call Your name, and will comfort me."

Satan: God is not going to heal your son.

Me: "God, be glorified through this situation, and use us in ways that we could never have imagined."

Satan: Your son has no future.

Me: "Lord, thank You for leading us this far. Guide us through Your spirit, and give us wisdom to listen to You."

Satan: God is going to take your son.

Me: "Lord, I thank you that Ian has been healthy through his treatments. His blood counts have remained high, his symptoms have been minimal and his attitude has been wonderful. I thank you for your mercy during this time. Above all, I pray that Your will would be done throughout this trial."

(Fade to white)

* * *

I wish that it were that easy, at least for me. The first step is to sit down and start listing the ways He has blessed us. That may be the next post...

As a quick aside, I'm listening to a recording of the doctor's appointment from earlier this week. Ian's oncologist said his exam is "totally rock stable." Pong!